The Written Word

As a professional writer, sometimes I take for granted the way that words just come naturally to my mind. I've always loved writing since I was very young and even to this day it's something I do daily. One thing that I learned very early on in our autism journey was that expressive language is very difficult for people on the spectrum. They have the feelings and the thoughts but the words to express those things aren't easy to communicate to others. I can only imagine how that must feel because it's hard enough feeling stressed or upset, but not being able to explain those feelings to others adds an additional element of stress. Because of this issue, I think a lot of people on the autism spectrum just learn to bottle up their feelings - it's too hard for them to try to share them.

For the most part, JD is quite a happy kid. He's very social and funny. But we're moving into those fun pre-teen years and I know that he's feeling a lot of changes in his moods. Some days he's very grumpy or angry. I've always encouraged him to write down his feelings when he's upset because it seems to help him get those feeling across. Sometimes he'll go to his room and write and then bring it to me to read. I love that he practices this skill. I'll read it and then we'll talk about it and I can tell he feels much better in the end, like we all normally do once we talk about our feelings.

The other night he wrote me this letter to explain some of the anger inside that he feels. It can be hard to see that he struggles with such intense feelings, but as an emotional person myself, I completely understand. I know he doesn't always feel this way, but when he does I'm glad that he has found a way to share it with me. After he read it, he asked if I could share it on Facebook for all of my friends to read which I thought was really sweet. He wants people to understand him and what his autism feels like and he knows I have friends who read my stories about him online. I explain to him that sharing our stories about autism helps people understand it better so they can appreciate people who aren't considered "neurotypical" (whatever that means!). It also helps other families of children with autism think of ways to help their kids with the same issues.

So he's my post sharing his letter to me about his anger. Don't worry - it has passed and he's back to his happy JD self again, talking about his favorite subjects like video games. I love this boy with all of my heart and I am so proud of him and the strong and talented young man he's becoming. The autism journey is not easy by any means, no matter where someone lands on the spectrum, but living or befriending someone with autism will change your life in a positive way. It helps you to look for the good in even the hardest moments. Without the challenges there wouldn't be the successes. JD reminds me of that daily and I'm thankful for that.

We're at the Half Way Mark!

Yesterday was JD's first day of 6th grade. Where has time gone? I made this picture collage of his first days of school since he started VPK when he was almost four. I vividly remember taking that photo of him in his classroom - he was so nervous - I was so nervous! Those were REALLY hard days. Developmentally and academically he was so behind. He had really difficult behavior problems and limited communication skills. I wish I knew then what I knew now.

Fast forward to 6th grade and we are light years ahead. JD is a math whiz. He also loves writing creative stories and drawing. He at grade level on most subjects except reading comprehension, but that's mainly a matter of the topic of the story and whether or not he's interested in learning about it!

I remember when he was first diagnosed scouring the interest looking for blogs or videos from parents with kids who had autism to get an idea of what the future for JD looked like. There wasn't a lot there though - usually people would blog or take videos and then eventually there posts would go away as time went on. I get it - life gets in the way and you get busy. But I don't want to be one of those parents who only focused on the journey in the beginning because it DOES get easier. At least for us it did. And if that inspires one other parent out there whose child just got diagnosed then it's worth it!

If I could say anything it would be: your child will make progress. It may not be as quickly as you'd like, or as much as you'd hope, but if you're working with them and providing as much support at home and school as you can, they WILL grow. And you'll be surprised - they'll probably exceed all of your expectations so keep them high! Don't worry too much about the future. Focus on the right now. (I say that in hindsight because I constantly worried about the future when JD was little!) I still worry, but not nearly as much. I know he will continue to grow and become more independent.

So we're half way to 12th grade. I don't know how it happened so quickly. Like they always say, the days go slowly but the years go by fast. Next thing I know he'll be a senior and (hopefully!) looking at higher level education!

Here's to those of you out there who are just starting your journey. Don't get discouraged. If you fall down, fight to get back up. Listen to your gut. You know your child better than anyone. Their needs will change every year. What works great now might not work then and vice versa. Just keep moving forward and loving your child because that's the best therapy of all!