When JD was diagnosed almost
two years ago, a good friend of mine (my autism mommy mentor if you will) gave
me the best piece of advice. She said, “Lindsay – it’s going to be hard. I
won’t lie. But you will see JD make amazing progress. It won’t be overnight
though, it won’t even be over a month. You’ll only see it over large chunks of
time. Wait till you look back at the end of a year, that’s when you’ll see it.”
That advice has been the most important insight anyone has given me. I remember
when JD started therapy I wanted immediate results. It was so frustrating to go
to therapy with him every day and watch him struggle with the same exercises.
“Say train” – JD, “say train.” Weeks, months passed, and I’ll be honest, you
really start losing hope. But then, just when you least expect it, it clicks.
It’s those moments when you remember that it’s not a race, it’s a journey.
As we begin 2012 it’s
important to celebrate the successes we made in 2011. When I started this blog
in May of 2010 it gave me a place to journal my thoughts. What I didn’t realize
at the time was that it would become a timeline of JD’s accomplishments. I’m so
thankful for the friends, family (and complete strangers!) who have been there
along the way, without you this journey would be a lot more difficult.
So without further ado, here
are JD’s Top 10 Accomplishments of 2011:
Whoa Chatterbox!
JD’s talking up a storm. He’s
even speaking in sentences. One of my favorites being, “Mommy – Kyle needs to
go to time out.” Lol. It might not always make sense – it might include a good
amount of JD-jibberish, but he’s communicating. He’s telling us what he wants,
what he needs, and sometimes what’s he’s feeling. It was almost two years ago
that I VIVIDLY remember JD saying “bubble” – his first real word. We were in
behavior therapy, blowing bubbles over and over again. I remember the tears
coming down my face from happiness when the word came out of his mouth. I
remember spending each day at home with him in his high chair practicing,
blowing bubbles all morning. He’s come SO far and I never take any word out of
his mouth for granted. Even when he’s asking me the same question 15 times in a
row like, “Cow orange chocolate milk Mommy? (which translates into I want more
chocolate milk)” But my all-time favorite thing he’s ever said is, “Mommy’s a
pretty princess!” Talk about heart-melting.
“Fork Please Mommy”
This may seem like a small
one, but it was big in our family. JD started using a fork independently! He’s
also able to drink from a cup now without it spilling down the front of his
shirt. These are examples of fine motor improvement and they took a long time
for him to master. We’re still working on other fine motor activities like
holding a crayon the right way and cutting with scissors, but I think he’s
going to make big strides in this area in 2012.
Finally, a Blanket
Since JD was born, he never
would let me put a blanket on him other than his “lovey” – a little brown
blanket with a monkey that he grew out of by the time he was six months old. Every
night I would have to dress him from head to toe in warm clothes because I was
always afraid he’d be cold while sleeping. And every night I would try to put a
blanket in his bed and he would yell, “no blanket!” One day, after he started going
to school, his teacher made me bring a big blanket for him to use during nap
time. I explained to her that I doubted he would use it, but she could try. Maybe
it was luck, or the influence of peers, or just the fact that his teachers are
amazing – but in the end JD started using a blanket – finally! He loves his “cars
lightening mcqueen” blanket and now at night I don’t have to worry… our next
step? Moving from the crib to a big boy bed. We’ll see how that goes.
Going to School
When JD was first diagnosed,
he spent countless hours in 1:1 therapy for speech, behavior, fine and gross
motor and play. His interactions with other kids was very limited, mainly his
siblings and his cousins and few neighborhood kids whose parents understood his
developmental problems. That was due to the fact that JD could blow up in a
tantrum at any minute and potentially hurt someone by biting, pulling hair or
hitting. I can’t say other moms were beating down our door for playdates! When
we moved and I went back to work I had to put JD in a regular daycare. He went
from a 1:1 therapy situation to 2:15 classroom – there were 15 kids in his
class and two teachers. It was really difficult for him, but it was also great
for developing his social skills. He had to learn to share, learn to follow
directions and learn to participate in groups, all while dealing with the sensory
overload of a loud room with lots of kids. After five months of trying to
acclimate it became clear it was a too big of a jump for him, so we moved him
to the autism prek program in our local public school. Now he’s in a class of 9
kids and 3 teachers and he LOVES it. This morning he even said, “Go see Miss
Ehrli – she’s my favorite teacher.” We’ve got a year and a half till he starts
kindergarten and I can’t wait to see how far he’s come by then!
ABCs and 1,2,3s
Recently we started using our
iPad to help JD on preschool learning skills and it’s been wonderful. When you
have a child who can’t really communicate it’s hard to know what they know and
understand. When we started playing games with JD on the iPad we realized he
knew his letters, number, colors, shapes and much more. It was really exciting
to see him point at a hexagon without any help from us! I had no idea he knew
all that – but what makes the iPad wonderful are all of the great apps created
to encourage learning while making it fun and rewarding. I’m so thankful for
this technology and I know we’ll be using it for a long time to come.
Pee Pee on the Potty!
Oh my most hated parent-duty…
potty training. I have to admit I’m possibly the worst potty trainer in the
world because I hate it so much. But one great thing about JD going to school
is that I can’t put it off any longer. The teachers know he’s ready and he’s
doing an amazing job keeping dry all day long! Again, the iPad has been a huge
help in this area – we found it as a great reinforcement (thanks to Miss Katie
who thought of the idea!). If he sits on the potty he gets to listen to a
Thomas the Tank Engine book and to turn the page he has to push the pee pee
out. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m so impressed that we’ve come this
far!
Playground Mania
When JD started occupational
therapy I remember three things he hated the most: climbing, sliding and
swinging. He was terrified of them all. We had to work for months to get him to
climb up the rungs of a ladder and sit down by himself to go down a slide. Last
night our family went to dinner at a one of our favorite places – Joe’s Crab
Shack. It’s not that we like the food (I don’t even eat seafood!) but they have
this AMAZING outside playground designed to look like a pirate ship. My husband
and I can sit and watch all three kids play while we eat in peace. It’s worth
every penny. But as I watched JD play last night I sat in amazement how quickly
he could run up the stairs, across the jungle gym and down slide down the
slide. It’s so easy for him now. In those moments I realize that all of the
hard work pays off. We might have to push him each step of the way, but it’s so
worth it in the end.
Friends
We’re coming up on JD’s 4th
birthday and this year I’m really excited because we’ll actually has friends to
invite! Usually it’s just my friends and their kids, plus his sister and
brother, but now that he’s in school he’s made a few friends of his own. One of
my best friends has two little boys – a 6 year old and 4 year old. I love
taking the kids over to her house to play because he’s just a typical kids
while he’s there. They don’t understand (or even notice) his autism and he follows
them around like they’re the coolest guys in the world. I know as he gets older
it will be more difficult for him to make real friends because of his social
issues, but right now I love that he’s just a kid.
Haircuts
If you look back at old
posts, you’ll see pictures where JD’s hair was crazy long. He HATED getting his
hair cut. I remember we used to have to put him in a highchair, Jason would
hold down his arms and I would clip away as fast as I could while he’d cry so
hard his nose would bleed. It was awful, and we only did it when absolutely
necessary. His therapists recommended that we start doing it more often so he
could get used to it and realize it wasn’t going to hurt him and then we
started to do short “mini cuts” where he’d get a trim every week. He still
doesn’t like getting a haircut, or his nails trimmed, but he does it without a
fight. We’re even using a buzz clipper now, which is a huge accomplishment. I
can’t imagine how scary that noise and feeling is. Even though sometimes I miss
his long waves, I love his little buzz cuts. He looks like such a big boy now.
SeaWorld
One of the best things we did
last year with JD was taking him to SeaWorld. It’s 15 minutes from our house,
so you’d think we’d be there every weekend, but taking three kids to a huge
theme park with large crowds, lines, and loud noises was not our idea of a
relaxing weekend. In November Jason’s brother and his wife came into a town and
we decided to take the kids to the park. Four adults, five kids and two cars
(in case anyone needed to leave early). JD did GREAT! He loved it – he even
loved the shows. It was a great day for our family and the kids had a blast. We’re
even thinking about getting annual passes just so we can “practice” going so we
can build up to taking a trip to Disney!
So what’s in store for 2012?
I am so excited for this year
because I know JD is going to continue growing in his development. I can’t wait
to see what I’ll be writing about next January. I’m really glad that I started
this blog when he was two, because day-by-day it all becomes a blur. But this
gives me a way to look back and remember how far we’ve come. I’m just thankful
to have so many wonderful people in our lives that encourage him and accept him
for the amazing little guy he is!
