Celebrating Great Progress!

Where has the time gone? My goodness, I can't believe we're already running full speed into the holidays! Earlier this week, Jason and I had JD's first parent/teacher conference at First Hope. All I can say is WOW - what a difference from last year... I can't believe how much progress he's made! We have so much to celebrate this year, not just with JD but with all of our munchins! It's just extra sweet when we see JD making big strides because I know he has to work extra hard to get there.

Academically, JD is doing AMAZING. He's learned how to write, he is starting to do math (he LOVES his addition tables) and his reading comprehension is testing quite well. These are all things he learned in the first 9 week of the school year! I'm truly amazed. His teachers and therapists are wonderful and we couldn't be more thankful to have them in our lives!

 

Also this quarter, JD went on his first field trip. Here's a picture of him and Ashley at Kennedy Space Center. He enjoyed seeing the space stuff but what he really loved what the Angry Birds Space exhibit.

And finally this past week we've been celebrating Halloween. This is a holiday that I'm always a little anxious over because I never know if JD is going to want to dress up or not, and I also worry about if some of the scarier costumes will scare him. But this year he was great. He was Darth Vadar (no mask of course) and he walked around with all the kids during our neighborhood's halloween party. It's was cute because he did one lap around the neighborhood and then wanted to go back inside to have goldfish and a juice box... not at all interested in the candy he just collected. But I am proud of him because he did try out some Nerds!

I really just can't believe how big all the kids are getting... Kyle and Ashley's birthday is coming up in a few weeks and then it will be Christmas! Where does the time go?

I'm so proud of JD. It's been a big transition for him to go to First Hope and to really learn what it's like to be in school. He really, really loves it and asks me every day if he can go back. I know he has to grow up, but sometimes I just want him to stay exactly the age his is now... my bubby love. :)

 

"He Doesn't Seem Like He Has Autism..."

The other day we ran into a balloon artist at dinner and JD was going bonkers trying to explain to him that he wanted an "alien space shuttle". The guy kept telling JD over and over again that he couldn't make an alien space shuttle but JD just kept going into great detail about what it should look like (in his jibberish speak of course). "It has hands like this... onnggg!" He said... and it goes like this... ahhhh!" lol. I try not to interfere because I want him to feel a sense of independence like the other kids who ask for dog, or a dolphin. But finally I had to intervene.

"He is on the autism spectrum," I said to the balloon guy. "That's why he's having trouble understanding why you can't make him an alien spaceship." The guy looked at me and looked at JD and said, "What makes you think he has autism? He doesn't seem like he has autism."

I kind of stood there taken back. Was this guy really arguing with me about my son's autism status? Really? Deep breath... time to use this moment as a learning opportunity... "Yes, he does have autism, he's just high-functioning. He can speak and might look like a normal kid on the outside, but mentally he's about 3." The guy stood there looking at me like I was crazy. Time to give up...

One of my biggest pet peeves as an autism mom are people who make stupid comments like "he doesn't look like he has autism, or he doesn't act like he has autism." OH THAT'S RIGHT... you've seen him for about TWO WHOLE MINUTES. My bad... you're right. The last three years of therapy were not needed and that developmental pediatrician that I pay for fortune for, she's just a dumbass. lol. 

I know that when people say this, they are probably trying to be nice. I get that - telling me he doesn't "look autistic" is supposed to make me feel better. I just find it irritating that people actually make that comment when they've only spent a few minutes with my child. If he had down syndrome, no one would say, "well he doesn't seem to have down syndrome". It's so annoying! Autism is an invisible disability people!!!!! 

Anyway, I just had to rant for a minute! :) Thanks for listening!

The Most Exciting Thing Ever!

If you easily get grossed out, then this post isn't for you. Cause what I'm talking about today is gross, but nothing short of a miracle at the Graham House!

Not to jinx it, but for the last FOUR days JD has pooped in the potty! He's almost six and this has been something we've been working on for two years. He's been peeing in the potty for a while now, but for some reason he was absolutely terrified of pooping. I mean so terrified that if I made him sit on the toilet he would scream and cry until his nose would bleed. He would hit me, pinch me, spit on me, scream... you name it, he did it. And that was just asking him to SIT on the potty. It's been a true nightmare - one that always ended up with us giving up after an hour of screaming, putting him in a pullup and dealing with the massive mess in the morning. It was causing major stress in our lives.

But then something clicked. Somehow I got him on the potty last weekend (using the iphone, toys, pepsi, etc. as a reinforcer) and he actually went! Of course we drove straight to Target to get him a "poopy toy". Then the next day he went again, and then next day and the next! I'm not completely holding my breath yet that we're 100% there, but we're REALLY close. I can almost imagine a day without diapers or wipes and that's huge for us. Especially since we were getting to the point where we'd have to order special-sized pullups online because JD has outgrown the ones from stores.

Here's a picture of JD proudly showing off his poop! Completely gross, I know, but a MAJOR accomplishment in the Graham household!

In addition to the pooping, JD has made major development leaps recently. One is the consistent use of holding his pencil/crayon/marker correctly. Again, another skill we've been working on for close to two years!

The next is learning math. Recently he got an award at school for completing extra math during class. I'm glad to see that he found a subject that he enjoys and is good at!

This year as been a big one for JD and I'm so proud of him! He learned to write his name, ride a bike, swim on his own, boggie board in the ocean, and so much more! I love my 'trouble graham!"

The Difference a Positive Note Makes

One thing you immediately inherit when you have kid with autism is the almost daily negative feedback. Whether it's from a teacher, a therapist, a neighbor, or a "friend" of theirs at school that the beat up that day... you hear it. It can be really hard to focus on the positive when all you hear about is the negative. "JD hit this child, JD slapped this teacher, JD bit his friend..." the list goes on and on. 

JD spent the last year and a half in a public school prek program for kids with autism and I can tell you that in that year and a half he probably only got TWO good notes home from his teacher in his daily communication. TWO. Every day I'd read about his "melts" (the term of which now sounds like nails down a chalk board to me). JD would have 3-5 "melts" in a day. This included kicking, screaming, biting, hitting, slapping, throwing things, etc. They normally last about 10 minutes each. His teacher (in his autism classroom) would call me to even come get him sometimes because he was "uncontrollable." It makes my stomach churn to know that he was dealing with such stress during that time. 

But we're on week three at First Hope and I'm so thankful that he's received a few POSITIVE messages from his kindergarten teacher. Here's the one I got today:

Now, I know that JD has his good days and bad - and the vast majority are not in the "good" category. BUT, the difference to me so far this year has been nothing short of amazing. His teachers share with me the areas where he needs work, but they also share the GOOD things.

As a parent I can't say thank you enough when I get these emails. It completely makes my day! Hearing something positive from another adult or child really gives me hope. It reminds me that JD is working hard, his teachers love and respect him, and best of all - he's in the right school.

I am really looking forward to this year, I have a feeling that JD is going to flourish at First Hope!

I Admit it, I get Jealous.

I know that "normal" is only a setting a on dryer, but sometimes I wish that my life was just that... a little more normal. When you have a child with special needs your life is turned upside down. Sometimes, on bad days, you feel like you're living in a prison. You can't do things that other people can do, you can't go places other people go. It can be very lonely because you feel like no one else can understand what you're going through.

The past two months have been very emotional for me. JD started kindergarten at First Hope and while I'm so excited he's finally started his journey there, it also makes me realize that his autism is for life. I drop him off everyday with kids his age as well as those that are much older than him and it's hard. It makes me think about the future and stress about where he'll go in life. When he was first diagnosed I always felt that we could do enough therapy to make it go away, it was kind of my mission, and lately I've realized it just doesn't go away. I'm reminded of that daily and it makes me sad and worried and then back to sad.

Sadness quickly turns to jealousy. And I'll admit it -  I'm jealous of everyone else having a normal life. I'm jealous of my friends who can go out to eat with their spouses because they either don't have kids or have no problem finding a babysitter because their kids are "normal". I'm jealous of the money they save by not having to pay for therapy, special schools, doctor appointments, etc. I'm jealous because I had to go back to work after being a stay-at-home mom to pay for all of those things. I'm jealous of my friends having fun on the weekends when I'm stuck at home, a prisoner of JD's routine. I'm just jealous... I wish I wasn't but I am. Some days I can deal with it, others I can't. I wish people knew that.

But then there are moments like today, when I picked up JD from school and he turned and said to me, "Mommy, I always love you." Those moments make me realize that I'm just being selfish. I love him more than words can explain, more than going out to eat in peace, more than going shopping with friends on the weekend, more than the money I could save by putting him a regular school... more than my desire a "normal" life.

Jealousy is a crappy thing. The grass is always greener on the other side. But sometimes my grass looks pretty green, I just forget to look at it long enough to appreciate it.

JD's 1st Day of Inclusion!

One of the main reasons we chose First Hope was because of their inclusion program. Even though it's a special-need program, two days a week, JD is "mainstreamed" into a regular kindergarten class with his First Hope teacher by his side as an aide. 

Today was his first day in his inclusion class and he was doing great at drop off. I'm so excited that First Hope has this practice in place - I think it will really give him a balance of what he needs: very small group instruction on M/W/F and inclusion on T/TH. Here are some pictures from the morning!

A Perfect Moment in Life

On May 5, 2010, I started this blog, Following JD's Journey, with my first post, "Our New Beginning." A month prior, in April of 2010, we learned that our 2-year-old son was diagnosed with Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder and Apraxia (speech delay). When you're a parent, and you hear those words, your life is turned upside down. You realize what you thought your life was going to be like is no longer the case, and your mind starts wandering all over the place trying to determine what your new life is going to be like. It's a scary place to be.

Fast forward three years, and JD is now 5 and a half. He's come so far, learned so much, and I am SO proud of him for everything he's accomplished. When he diagnosed he had 5 words, could hardly walk, was unable to jump, swing, slide, climb (all motor skill problems), hardly ate solid foods, and was OBSESSED with trains to the point that he would not interact with anyone, only play at his train table.

Three years of intense therapy (speech, occupational/sensory, behavior) and here we are. Today JD started KINDERGARTEN at First Hope, a special-needs program at The First Academy! There are few days when I sit back and think to myself - this is a perfect moment. But this morning, as JD proudly showed off his   new uniform (complete with a Batman backpack!), and grinned from ear-to-ear with his big sister as we took "first day" pictures, I couldn't have been happier.

For the last three years, we've been working for THIS DAY. I've wanted him to go to First Hope since I stumbled upon their ad in the Bright Feats magazine shortly after his diagnosis. I truly believe that this is the best place for him. Small classrooms (there's only 4 kids in his class and 2 teachers!), inclusion with an aide two days a week in a regular kindergarten classroom, individual speech and occupational therapy for 45 minutes each day, and ongoing behavior and sensory support around the clock with teachers and staff who love their children and display the word of God in their teachings and actions every day!

Today is sort of another "New Beginning" because this is the beginning of the rest of his school life. First Hope and The First Academy are where we call home. Our entire family fits there - not just our two "regular" kids. Ashley was SO proud of her little brother today, walking him into his classroom and telling him not to worry. I am SO glad she will be there with him each step of the way, like siblings should be. And next year, when Kyle starts school at The First Academy, Ashley and JD can walk HIM in as his older siblings. We are ONE family and we do things TOGETHER!

On a closing note, I just want to say thank you to my husband, who has been my rock for the last 13 years. Jason isn't the dad who sits on the sidelines... just the opposite. He's right there next to me, fighting this fight against autism. Thank you boo :)

And thanks everyone for taking the time to read this. Each of you have played a significant role in JD's Journey. We appreciate your support, "likes" and kind words every day. Thank you!!